This was the beginning of my Grey's Anatomy Blogs...How cute. Clear references to Meredith my wispy wasp.
Everyone messes up. It's what we're designed to do, to try something and see what works. Most people opt for the safer route, doing exactly what works and trying not to deviate from that. But pioneers try the untried, they brave new territory and sometimes they're rewarded, and sometimes not. Meredith slept with George...-shakes head.- Tisk square. Lol. I'm still deciding what I want to be, do I want to be smart in love, or do I want to pioneer. But yet again all this requires someone else. I don't know I just think I'm ill equipped for relationships. I mean they're a lot of work, taking into account other people's feelings, and making the majority of your decisions around them. Is it just me or does that feel constricting. Then again, there's feeding the beast (sex) and kisses on the neck, warm embraces, and sweet, sweet lies. I mean less face it, Fifty percent of a relationship is the intention, and other fifty is the execution.. That whole "Oh baby, I'm gonna buy you a house and take care of you," bullshit I hope is dying its deserved death. Don't rely on anyone. Buy youself a house, then you're free to tell who you want to come and go. Seriously. But relationships are complex and you really need to find someone who fits. Who fits for me? Intellectual, but not snooty. Rich~ not a prerequisite because I'm not a gold digger, but I'd be a liar to say that wouldn't be sweet. But there's that down side where rich people think they can treat you like shit, which ain't happening either. and of course personality trumps a lot of these. I mean if I find someone with just a beautiful soul who's capable, makes a decent living, and shares my interest that would be great. So wow I said all of that for nothing because I haven't really narrowed it super down. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm open to life's possibilities. I can't define that "It" that makes you fall in love. I'm not even going to go into the physical, because that I can shut down from the get-go. If you have to change yourself to please me, it's prolly not worth. Find somebody who's gonna love you on your worst hair day. I stay cute for me, not anyone else. It's called personal pride. Seriously. But you know what it is, I'm great in social settings, but hooking up wise I have the worst game. Like I think I over-exaggerate when it comes to my skillz, so it makes me more self-conscious which encourages me to not try at all and then I expect people to come to me. But by not trying sometimes I look standoffish and then other people are afraid to approach me. Lol, weirdness right? I could go on for days. So anyway I forgot why I started this blog. Anyway I had no destination in mind, hope you enjoyed the ride?
Another Doc McValentine Original
