The McValentine Rapport: December 2007

With the state of things the way they are. I sometimes question myself going to school to be a journalist. The real news is few and far between, and even some of the big trusted names are faltering. Was it the Death of Ana Nicole that sped up this Celebrity Cyclone of news? I recently read an article in the NYTimes about Stephen King. He was saying that Lindsay and Britney should have tied for TIME Magazine's Person of the Year. He was, of course joking. He was just disgusted how much media attention these girls get, as apposed to real news.

Now I don't know about you, but I have a Love/Hate relationship with Celebrity news. At times I am overjoyed to find out that a certain actor or actress is working on a project and maybe even that they got married, and or whatever else makes them happy. I don't think that's an abnormal thing. In the old days Actors were put on a pedestal. Hell, Lucile ball could have actually been a communist and gotten away with it. America loved her that much. However, nowadays technology has allowed us to break down the barriers between ourselves and Hollywood. We can get the "real" reel scoop. We sometimes get pictures, and if we're really lucky or unlucky (depends on how you view it) we get video. Oh Tara Reid didn't get into a club? Haha, she's common like the rest of us right? Wrong! Tara Reid is a loser--period. Just because she's a celebrity who didn't get to do something Celebrities normally do, does not make her better or worse than any of us. Yea, it looks pretty bad on TMZ she made all these movies and it doesn't mean jack-$&*# in the world(California) where it's suppose to. But I think we need a reality overhaul in 2008.

I'm tired of people being so Damn concerned with the scar on Britney's snatch, and less concerned with the content of her character. Martin Luther King Jr. was right about being able to judge people not by appearance but by their integrity. And let's face it people, Britney doesn't have much of either left. And, who the hell wears a Pink Ass wig to be incognito? Who!?! A F*ing cartoon character is who. She doesn't make sense in the real world. And she wants to play mommy and pretend to read Chronicles of Narnia books while she is driving? You know, It's sad because, she probably can't be left alone with those kids for more than an 30 minutes. She looks a hott ass mess. I really shouldn't be talking about her for so long.

But she really is one of the BIGGEST problems in America. She makes so much bank(money) every day and she's demoralizing America. And just when you thought, the little sister couldn't be as stupid. She's even worse, she's starting early. I wanted to believe the little sister had her $h*t together but, NO. As fertile as Britney is, Jamie Lynn goes and gets herself pregnant. (There is even speculation as to who is the daddy now. It could be one of the MUCH older producers of Zoe101, her hit Nickelodeon TV show.) It makes me sick to my stomach. She's 16...I mean accidents happen all the time. I know some wonderful kids who were accidents. But at 16 I draw the line. There is too much out there to prevent pregnancy for you not to seek it out. And you get what you deserve if they didn't use protection. They are asking if the media is blowing it out of proportion? And they're not. It's a big deal. Yes, it happens everyday to good kids, but mostly you see things like this on Jerry Springer. If we start to moralize that it's ok to have kids at 16, when your brain isn't even done developing, then we're going to have other kids emulating this behavior. TV is a powerful, visual monster. The repeatability of certain images or even just the one-time viewing can be detrimental to a child's understanding of how the world works.

But what's sad is those b*tches, and yes I say b*tches. (If you bring a child into this world and don't intent to take care of it, or at least give it to someone who can properly care for it, then you're a b*tch.) If you have an abortion I don't have a clause on that...you have to take that up with your God. But in my book one less unloved child is one less F'd up adult. And we all know what F'd up adults are capable of. Straight people hate Britney because she's Trailer Trash, the Gays hate her because she doesn't have her six pack and can no longer lipync to her own dumb song. I just hate her because she has all these resources and she's never going to get to be a full person. She's always been told what to do, she's used to Schedule and Routine, and having kids throws a huge wrench in her regular routine. Especially because she wasn't ready for it.

Madonna was able to slow down and have a family life. But then a again, she is Madonna. She had almost done everything in the book before she decided to do so. Even she had tumultuous home life. But did have to see it constantly. Did she go out of her way to shock us? Yes, she most certainly did. But anything Madonna ever did made people think.

You can't sit down and Analyze "Gimme More"? It sounds like a Cum-Whore line in a cheesy Porno. Her Career was over for me with "Me Against the Music." Ever since she broke up with Justin--that has been her downfall. She shouldn't have cheated on him. She's the classic White Trash romance: cheats on a good hometown guy, gets with another Po-Dunk like herself., and makes trashy home movies for the world to see of them belching and hanging out on patios, then gets preggers. The husband who has many kids of his own, leaves her or she leaves him.

If she were as smart as we all thought she was she would have gotten pregnant with Justin's baby. That's the meal ticket right there. If he would have hit her baby one more time, she would have been set. But simple girls always want the bad boy. They want the "Justin Bobby", the here and now, dangerous, aloof rebel. And I say simple girls, because if you don't see a future in the relationship, why do it? Why get attached? Because you don't want to be a one night stand? Please people would be better off being a one night stand, than a three year mess.

It's three in the morning... and see even my blogs have Britney in them. I guess I can't totally blame the media. I just wish she'd move to Alaska and we didn't have to hear about her for a few years. Stop haunting us...I'm not serious enough to read hard news, but she's making celebrity news unbearable. And she's the one who loves to bare, so she needs to quit.

On the flip side of this argument there is a movie coming out called "Juno," which I really want to see that deals with the premise of teen pregnancy. It'll be interesting to see the way the movie handles it. I understand there are a lot of girls who end up pregnant earlier than planned. It's not a judgement on my part about who they are. It's just, every one of those girls should be reinforcing the fact that your entire life changes, that they miss out on so much. I know in this day and age we try to make everything seem less than what it actually is. But I also think we are creating a more responsible world, where people can't just drive drunk and get away with it, even if you're Paris Hilton. Well, if you're Nicole Ritchie, that's another story. Come on, her dad sings "All Night Long." (Kidding, I do not believe that was a good excuse to get her off.) But it's all right to let your child know, early pregnancy is not the end of the world, but it is a huge pause. Hell Gilmore Girls had that young mother premise and it's one of the best shows every written. Even though it's over, still one of the best. And that was a BEST CASE scenario, even with Lorelai's parents being rich she still went off and raised a child by herself. Single parenting is hard enough without it being young single parenting. There are too many resources out there for you not to get pregnant, that doing so is just careless in this day and age. We need to let kids know that condoms are ok for them to have. I would rather have them and use them without me having to know that to try and pretend that they're the one case where the guy will pull out just in time. And if Jamie Lynn wasn't using condoms that means she was also at risk for STD's. It's just so aggravating. She better become a damn advocate for birth control. There's ways for her to turn this around, and I hope she takes a higher road than her nutty sister.